Double Vision
by greyslostwho
Summary: Set some time after Left Behind, Jack and Kate still ren't talking properly. But when Jack loses his temper, will he do something that he regrets? Jate angst and romance. This has become a lot longer than I thought. Enjoy. And please R&R! CHAPTER 10 UP!
1. Chapter 1

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**LOVE**

They say love changes a person. They say it softens the face, and makes the person calmer and better people. They say it means that the light changes in their eyes when they see the one they love. They say that it is possible to fall so deep into love that you cannot claw your way out for years.

Kate Austin could understand all of that. Especially the last one. Only three months ago she had known nothing of feeling this way, except for for one man a very long time ago, when she had been a very different person. She didn't understand they way she felt now. It had crept up on her like a thief in the night. One minute she thought she was in control, flirting a little and joking around and not getting too attached, and the next minute she was head over heels, unable to be apart from him. She couldn't tell the exact moment she had let herself be taken over by these feelings, but she knew the day she kissed him that she was too far gone to go back.

And then she had made the terrible mistake. At the time it had seemed like the best thing to do. She had felt like she had to do something to stop the pain, and that appeared the only way. She only wanted to drown out the unwanted feelings for a few hours. That was all.

But it had backfired on her. And now he hated her. He detested her with a passion. And he had Juliet now. He didn't need her anymore. He didn't even have to pretend he cared. She couldn't understand how one moment of weakness, one moment of collapse when the feeling of loss was too great, and she had ruined everything.

She was in love with Jack Shepherd. But it was too late now.


	2. Chapter 2

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**A WALK**

She wandered through the jungle, her eyes stinging with tears she wouldn't allow to fall. She had one thing left in the entire world, and that was her dignity. She couldn't let that fall. She needed that one thing, otherwise what would be her reason for living? She had pride, and she needed to be proud still, though she wasn't sure what of. She needed him to make her feel anything better than this, this wreck of a woman who didn't care whether she lived from one day to the next.

Suddenly she heard footsteps in the jungle, nearby. She wasn't too sure how far from camp she had come, so she darted up a tree just in case. Sure, the Others had disappeared, but that didn't mean that they wouldn't come back.

She saw, from her precarious place in the branches, that it was Jack. Jack; and he was surprisingly alone. That was odd these days. He was generally in the company of Juliet. Kate felt her heart rate speed up and her palms begin to sweat when she saw him. This was ridiculous. She was sure she had read a romance novel about this once. She didn't want to feel this way. She couldn't say how much she wanted to feel this way about Sawyer. Sawyer was the man that she wanted to love, but couldn't, and Jack was the man that she didn't want to love, but couldn't stop herself.

He walked on by. He was definitely alone. She wasn't sure what he was doing. When he was just out of sight, she silently jumped down from the tree and started to follow him. She at least needed to talk to him, or she would go insane. She couldn't live this way, with him hating her, anymore. She had to at least defend herself.

Jack turned as she walked up beside him. She smiled lightly at him, but he didn't return the favour. She had never known him to be so cold with her. He had always seemed a forgiving person, even when he found out about what she had done, that she had killed someone. It had only taken about a day and then they were back on speaking terms and they were friends again. They were good friends, too.

"Hey." She said softly to him and he nodded in her direction. She drew a deep breath. "Jack, can I talk to you?"

He stopped and looked straight at her. "I came out here to be alone, Kate. I don't really feel like talking right now."

And then he began to walk away. She followed him.

"Jack, please." She said, and was annoyed that she sounded far more like she was pleading than she had planned.

"There's nothing to talk about, Kate."

"Isn't there?" she said, and caught his arm, looking him in the eye. He twisted his arm to get free and for a second she was reminded of another struggle in the jungle. They both remembered how that had ended. But this time was different. This time they couldn't just dive in the deep end. They had to learn the strokes.

He twisted his wrist hard and pulled back, a sickening crack in Kate's wrist and leaving her clutching her arm, panting in agony. He looked at her for a second, and she stared up at him, her eyes filling with hot, salty tears of pain. For a moment they just stared at each other, pain, hurt and anger in Kate's eyes, and disbelief, guilt and horror in Jack's.

"I'm…I'm so sorry…" he said, flushing red and swallowing hard, "Let me have a look at that."

"No." she snapped, and drew it away, driving herself into spasms of throbbing again. She turned away. "I'm fine."

"Kate, you're not. I'm sorry. Let me have a look."

"Go away, Jack." She said, sitting down on a log, bending her head so he couldn't see her tears, "You were right. There is nothing to talk about."

He just looked at her for a second. He took a step towards her.

"Jack – just go." She whispered, wincing as she turned her arm over in her hands.

"I'm not going anywhere until you let me have a look at that." He said, and she noticed that his voice had softened.

"Then you'll be here a long time." She said stubbornly, pointedly keeping her head down.

He sat on a log opposite her, a few feet away. For ten minutes or so they sat in silence, and Kate fought not to let her suffering show. Then the nausea rose in her throat. She gave Jack one pleading glance, and then she fainted.


	3. Chapter 3

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**THE STORM**

He rushed over to her, and laid her in the recovery position on the floor of the jungle. He then took her arm in his hands, and felt for the damage. He could feel all the bones joined, and he let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't broken, that was one thing at least. He felt for the muscles around it, trying to find if any of them were torn or stretched out of place. Then he found it. A loose piece of cartilage, where the twist had torn it away from the joint in her wrist. He winced himself as he thought of how much pain it would have caused. He then felt tears falling from his eyes as it hit him. He had caused this. He had inflicted this pain on her.

He ripped the pocket from his red shirt, leaving a tear down the front of it. He wrapped up the piece of cloth and wrapped it round her wrist, securing the loose cartilage in place. It would take a while to heal. Then he checked her airways and her pulse. Everything was fine. She had simply passed out with the pain. She should come round in a few minutes. He took her other hand in his and held it tightly, waiting for her to surface from her dream world.

Kate's eyelids flickered open and they focused slowly on the floor beside her. She was laid on her side in the middle of the jungle. She felt the sharp pain straight in her wrist. Then she remembered. She remembered fighting with Jack and her wrist cracking. She remembered sitting down and him refusing to go away. She remembered feeling suddenly very sick, and fainting. She remembered nothing more.

Her eyes slowly focused on a shape above her. She looked into his eyes, and for a moment was scared by what she saw there. Emptiness. Jack sat above her, his face void of emotion. She tried to tug away but her body was still numb. She barely felt it as he put a hand to the side of her face.

"Don't try to move your arm." He whispered, and she realised something. It wasn't emptiness, in his eyes. She had been mistaken. It was loss. "I've bandaged it up. You've… I… dislodged some cartilage. It's gonna be very painful in just a second. I'm sorry, Kate."

She couldn't respond, not for a minute, and then the pain came and all hope of a response was lost without a trace. She blinked, trying to fight the tears that were rising with each wave of pain and nausea. She couldn't quite remember the time as a child she had broken her wrist, but she was sure this was worse.

Then she couldn't hold it in any longer. She let out a horrible, shaking sob, and then the tears rolled down her cheeks like raindrops on a car window. She wasn't sure why that image came into her mind. She could feel the tears pooling at her neck, then running down the sides of her shoulders, and dripping off her body. Jack, above her, had tears in his eyes. He was saying something but she could hardly hear him.

And then the rain started.

Jack looked up to the sky as the rain began to pour down, drenching their clothes. He quickly lifted Kate in his arms as if she was as light as a feather and carried her deeper into the trees. She was surprised when he came across a trapdoor and set her down to open it. She was still groggy but managed to climb onto her unsteady feet. She ducked, sending her arm into splitting agony, as the lightning struck. She watched in a kind of sick horror as the tree came tumbling down, only a few feet away from them. Jack grabbed her good arm roughly and pulled her down into the hole.

THERE ARE MORE CHAPTERS, BUT I WANT REVIEWS TO SEE IF YOU LIKE IT BEFORE I POST THEM.

IT WILL GET LESS ANGSTY EVENTUALLY


	4. Chapter 4

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**THE STATION**

It was dark, and he was holding her up. As her eyes accustomed to the light she saw that he was balancing on a rung of the ladder. They were in a very dangerous position, one slip of the foot would send them falling down the shaft. Kate shivered.

"Hold onto me." She could hear Jack's voice over the loud outside noise of the storm. "We're in one of the other hatches. I'm going to climb down, one rung at a time. Can you hold on round my neck?"

"Yes." She whispered. It was the first thing she had said to him since she woke up. He started to step down.

About half way down the shaft, the ladder suddenly shook at there was a loud bang, before the light peeking out through the edge of the trapdoor vanished. For a moment they were both still and silent.

"What…what happened?" Kate asked, and was annoyed to hear her voice sounded shaky. Jack turned to her. His face was only a few inches away from hers.

"A tree fell on the trapdoor. We're trapped."

Her heart could easily have skipped a beat, but she wasn't sure.

"Isn't this like the other hatches?" she said, her eyes filling with tears due to pain, the aftermath of her unconsciousness and the sudden fear. "Doesn't it have another way out?"

Jack shook his head grimly and carried on climbing down.

When they reached the bottom he put her down on her own two feet and she started to walk, shakily, into the station. She immediately found a chair and sat down, letting Jack sit opposite her. For a moment she said nothing. Neither did he. But they didn't need to. The silence was full.

"What are we going to do?" she said in a tiny voice, though it was stronger than it had been minutes before. The pain was coming in waves still, but the gaps between them were lengthening. It was numbing.

"I don't know." He said, smiling the smile that he gave people when he knew there was nothing more he could do for them. As he did, he realised what he was doing, but he couldn't stop it. It was his reassuring smile, and he wanted Kate to be reassured.

She wasn't one to miss a trick.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" she asked dryly.

"Like what?" he asked, a genuine smile teasing his lips.

"Like I'm a patient dying of cancer. And don't say you're not, cos you are."

He chuckled bitterly, but he said nothing. Silence ensued again.

"How's your arm?" he asked.

She gave him a cold look. "Has it really got so bad between us that the only topic of conversation you can think of is my arm which you sprained like twenty minutes ago?" It was a nasty comment, and she felt guilty the moment it left her mouth. But she couldn't take it back.

He looked at her, and he wondered. He wondered what had driven them both to this. A month or two ago he would have said for definite that he knew that the two of them would always be close. He hadn't ever expected anything else.

He got up slowly, and walked through into another of the rooms in the station. It was some sort of cupboard. He rooted around until he found some jars of pills. He took them down from the shelf, and searched through them until he found what he was looking for. Paramol, a strong painkiller. She was going to need it. He knew that with an injury like hers it would be fairly painful for a while, and then when the cartilage started to harden itself again she would be in agony.

As Jack walked back in, Kate looked up. She had begun to feel groggy. The pain and the aftermath of her unconscious period had made her tired and shaky. And she had begun to see in double vision. Not that that made much of a difference. She was used to seeing in some sort of perverted double vision recently, everything out of focus when he wasn't there. But she would admit that to herself. She could hardly see him as he knelt down in front of her. He handed her a glass of water and two white pills.

"What are they?" she managed.

"Painkillers." He said, "I don't want to tell you this, but the pain is only going to get worse."

She nodded, swallowed some water to wet her throat and then knocked back the pills. He took the glass from her hand.

"They might make you feel a little bit drowsy." He said. She nodded. Just what she needed. She watched his face swim in and out of focus as she slowly fell out of consciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

**DOUBLE VISION**

SORRY GUYS ABOUT NOT POSTING SOONER I HAVE AN EXAM LIKE NEXT WEEK AND HAVE BEEN TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO REVISE. AND SOMEONE DID DRAW TO MY ATTENTION THAT MY AUTHOR NOTES IN CAPITALS MAKE ME LOOK LIKE I'M SHOUTING BUT IT'S A HABIT THAT'S KIND OF HARD TO BREAK. LOL. ANYWAY, THE STORY PROGRESSES...

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**IN DREAMS**

Jack lifted her sleeping form in his arms, trying not to notice his hands against her hips and her slender legs under his arms. He laid her down on a bed in the cabin room of the station. He covered her up with a blanket, tucking her in like a tiny child. When he was done, he looked down at her face, peaceful in sleep. He let out a sigh. He so wanted to be angry with her. Anger would be an easier emotion than this. Anger was easier than everything. Anger wouldn't cut so deep as the ache of loss.

She let out a long, deep breath, and rolled over in her sleep, so she was curled up in a tiny ball, her knees up by her chest, sending the blanket into turmoil, and moving her an inch or two closer to where he was sat on the edge of the bed. He couldn't fathom the sudden urge he had to kiss the smooth, pale skin of her cheek, and the plump, pink softness of her lips. He shook himself. She had Sawyer. He was mad at her. That was the way it had to be.

As he turned to walk away he noticed she was whimpering. He turned back, and just stood there for a minute, transfixed by the sleeping woman in front of him.

"Don't… stop… I have to see him… I have to tell him… go away, Sawyer… No, I can't! I'm sorry… I… I'm not… not in love with you… I'm sorry… I have to see… I have to see Jack, Sawyer…"

He took a step back, wondering if he had been dreaming. She was sleep talking, he told himself; it didn't mean anything. But all of a sudden hope had been planted in his mind. He walked over to her. He wanted to be able to do something to comfort her, but he didn't know what to do without waking her. And she needed sleep. When the bad pains set in, she would hardly be able to close her eyes.

SORRY THIS ONE IS SO SHORT. THERE WILL BE MORE.


	6. Chapter 6

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**SCARS**

Kate yawned and sat up. He arm was strangely numb. Her intuition told her she had been asleep three or four hours, and she was close to the truth. She pushed herself with her good arm off the bed and walked on wobbling legs through the station. Jack was sat in the kitchen area, reading some sort of instruction manual that he had found. He looked up when Kate walked in, then got up and got her a chair. She sat down, still fearing that her legs might give out underneath her any minute.

"Looks like good reading." She said lightly. She had had a horrible dream, but she couldn't remember what it was. All she remembered was Jack walking away from her, and knowing she would never see him again. That hurt her. So she had decided to forgive and forget what had happened in the jungle. Her arm still hurt, but she knew he would never mean to hurt her. She knew that he cared about her. Anyway, she had hurt him too, if not physically. He smiled at her. There was an unspoken agreement between them that they would stop fighting. She had had the dream, and he had experienced the dream, so they both resolved to themselves not to fight.

"Do you want me to have a look at your arm?" he asked gingerly, his way of saying 'can I check up on your arm?' Luckily she smiled and nodded, walking closer to him and holding the arm out for him to see. Slowly he unravelled the makeshift bandage and turned her wrist over. His fingers felt like burning coals on her skin, but she would never let him see that. As he rotated her arm he hardly concealed his gasp of horror as he saw them – the silvery scars, snaking across her arm, mapping out her pain. He wasn't going to say anything, but he couldn't resist looking at her, and trying to gauge her feelings from her eyes. Brown eyes met green, and then she looked down.

"I was a kid." She said, "I didn't know what I was doing. It was a long time ago, Jack."

He nodded and put his head back down massaging the muscle of her arm, trying to find the loose cartilage. When he found it, he slowly applied pressure until he had reset the piece into the right place. She gritted her teeth and didn't say a word.

"I'm sorry about this, but for a day or two the pain is just gonna get worse. After that, in a few days, I'll start giving you a few exercises you can do with it, to get it back in working order. Ok?"

She nodded, ignoring the huge throbbing pain he had just awoken in her arm. She looked at him and smiled weakly. He wrapped her wrist back up in the ripped pocket of his shirt and then he slowly let go. She felt like he was letting her slip away, and she couldn't hold on anymore. She felt a strange sense of emptiness when their hands lost contact.

"Is there gonna be an 'in a few days'?" she asked, nodding upwards in the general direction of the hatch cover, where the tree had blocked their way out.

"Of course there is." He said with more conviction than he felt. "When you were asleep, I looked around this place. I checked for food and there's loads, like in the other one, and water and everything."

"But how will we get out?"

"Someone will notice we are missing and come looking for us. They'll find the tree on the hatch door and move it, and open it. We'll be fine, you'll see."

Suddenly she realised. He was trying to convince her it was going to be ok. He didn't want her to worry. She smiled to herself, a tiny secret smile and then she walked over to one of the armchairs and sat down, a good ten metres away from Jack, but close enough just to sit and watch his eyes skim through the pages of the manual.

Then she noticed an old magazine on the table. She picked it up in her good hand, and began to read it.


	7. Chapter 7

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**CONVERSATION**

Jack walked across the station, and sat down in the armchair opposite her. She looked across at him questioningly.

"You know that talk you wanted to have?" he said, and suddenly she was interested, "We could have that now."

She remembered the moment she had felt her wrist cracking and the horrific realisation that Jack had done that. She remembered his angry eyes turned on her as she walked up to him in the jungle. And she remembered his indifference to her apologies, back at the Other's place.

"It's like you said, Jack. We have nothing to talk about."

And she pointedly looked back down to the magazine. She had been trying to be friendly, but that had brought up too much of the hurt and the anger and the betrayal.

"I'm sorry, Kate." He said after a minute or two, and she was surprised to hear the thickness of emotion in his voice, "I would give anything to go back and not hurt you. I was angry, I was mad, I couldn't see anything clearly. I would never hurt you, Kate. I am so, so sorry…"

She looked up to see a single lone tear sliding down his cheek. And that ripped her heart out. More than any words he could ever say and any things he could ever do. Seeing him cry made her break down inside. She needed him to stop crying, it was tearing her up. So she stood up on unsteady legs and took a step towards him. He thought she was going to leave the room, and stood up to stop her going anywhere.

They met in the middle, their bodies about an inch apart. Kate could feel his body heat radiating off him, and he could smell the scent of her, guava and passion fruit and salt from the sea…

He blushed and lowered his gaze when he found himself staring at her. She laughed a little and went to move one way, just as Jack did the same thing. They stepped back, a smile creeping onto his face too. Then they both went to step the other way, and Kate couldn't help thinking that this wasn't what happened in real life, this was what happened in movies. And then they bumped into each other, chests, arms, faces, lips…

For a moment her lips rested there, for the tiniest second, giving him the chance to pull away. He held eye contact with her, and all she could see in them was shock. But her eyes were focusing. Suddenly there was no need for double vision. She could see clearly. But she felt his arms snake up around her waist, and as if in slow motion, draw her closer to him. She watched his eyes darken with desire as they drifted shut, and hers followed suit. Her hands found their way around his neck, and he felt her touch send shivers down his spine. Still their lips hadn't moved.

Kate drew back slowly, their eyes opening when their lips lost contact.

"Wow." She breathed. He smiled and lifted a hand to trace her lips, running his finger across them, not letting his eyes leave hers.

"Wow." He agreed, and then their lips joined again. His arms wrapped around her, leaving her gasping for breath as he kissed her mouth, her face, her neck. She clutched him as if he were a lifeline. This was what she had been dreaming of… this was what she had wanted for so long… this was what every night when she went to sleep she imagined… this was heaven…

She could hardly control her own movements. She felt herself sliding his shirt slowly over his head, and then him doing the same to hers, but it was as if she was watching the scene from a distance. He could hardly breathe as she stroked her hands across his bare shoulders. He was drowning in her, but in a wonderful sense of the word. When she drew her lips from his to whisper in his ear he felt like without her he would die there and then.

"I've missed you." She whispered, and he could barely hear her over the beating of his heart, violently pumping in his ears.

"I've missed you too." He agreed, and then he kissed her again.

She sank into one of the chairs and pulled him down beside her.

SO THERE YOU FINALLY HAVE IT. JATE. ENJOY.


	8. Chapter 8

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

YAY, FINALLY JATE JATE AND MORE JATE

**A WAY OUT**

Jack and Kate lay crashed out on the sofa in the station. Kate was curled up in a ball on his chest, and they both had their eyes closed but neither of them was asleep. Neither of them moved.

"You're amazing." She whispered gently and kissed his cheek. He smiled and slung one of his arms loosely around her.

"Right back atcha." He muttered and she laughed lightly. They both had a huge feeling of contentment. She snuggled down a little further, and his other arm came around her waist. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes again, ready to sleep.

"We should probably concentrate on trying to find us a way out of here." Jack said, and slowly sat up, pulling her with him. She kissed him gently, seducing him.

"Ok. If that's what you want." She said, and got up. "There's got to be another way out. There was for the other one."

He smiled and followed her. She walked through the station, passing the room where she had slept the day before and the kitchen where she had found him, reading the manual. The manual…

"That's it!" she cried, "The manual! If there's a way out, it will be in the manual!"

He smiled, caught her round her waist and planted a great big movie star kiss on her lips. "You're brilliant." He said softly and bent his head to kiss her neck. She pushed him off, giggling. "Dr Shepherd, we have work to do."

He smiled, and headed into the kitchen to find the manual. He picked it up, leant on the counter and began to flick through, trying to find the map or a reference to the way out.

He felt two thin, smooth arms circle his waist and he smiled to himself.

"You can't keep your hands off me, can you?" he chuckled, and she kissed the bottom of his neck, at the top of his spine.

"Nope." She agreed, and giggled lightly.

"Now I can't concentrate." He whispered, and Kate grinned. Until a few hours ago, she had only dreamed this. This was wonderful, this was perfect. She found herself not even caring that they might never find a way out. Did it matter? She was with Jack, and Jack wasn't mad at her anymore, and everything was ok. She rested her head on his back, tightened her arms around his waist, and sighed.

Jack felt his heart beat faster as he felt hers through the thin cotton of the shirt on his back. He knew he should be concentrating on getting them out of there, but he wanted nothing more than to turn around and take her into his arms, and kiss her and hold her like there was no tomorrow. And, really, there might be no tomorrow if he couldn't find the way out. He found the map in the manual and studied it. He let out a deep breath as Kate's arms loosened around him and she stepped back.

"I'm going to find something to eat." She said, and he nodded, trying to work out what everything on the roughly sketched map meant. He walked through and sat down on one of the chairs in the main area, studying it closely. He could see the kitchen, and the bedroom, and where the TV screens were. But he couldn't make sense of the rest of it.

He flicked, frustrated, to the next page. Under a huge bold heading was the title: ENTRANCES AND EMERGENCY EXITS. He smiled to himself and began to read.


	9. Chapter 9

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. **THIS IS NO LONGER A SHORT FANFIC, AS YOU HAVE PROBABLY NOTICED. **WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**CHAMPAGNE AND STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM**

Kate looked up as he walked into the kitchen.

"I've found it." He said, smiling at her. "We just have to follow the corridor all the way down and we get to a passage we have to crawl through. We crawl through it and we end up in one of those bamboo grove things."

She walked over to him, cradled his face in her hands and kissed him.

"I think we need to celebrate." She announced. She held up a bottle of champagne and a white tub. "I got us food."

He walked towards her and took the tub from her hands, opening it. As he lifted the lid he caught a smell he thought he'd never smell again. The slightly sickly, but in a good way, smell of strawberry ice cream, the thick, creamy kind with a ripple of jam running through it.

"There's vanilla and chocolate in the fridge too, but I guess I think you are a strawberry guy." She grinned and took a step closer, so that her mouth was inches from his. "I can get the others if you want."

He bent his head and kissed her mouth. "I am definitely a strawberry guy." He said and she smiled. Then she pulled away from his embrace and walked across to one of the cupboards, where she got out two bowls and two spoons. She walked through the kitchen, and back into the main area, where the sofa still had the indents on it where two bodies had laid, close. She sat down on it, obscuring the dents as if trying to hide a secret.

Slowly she dug one of the spoons into the strawberry ice cream. He watched her face lovingly as she scooped him out some and then handed it to him. He took the bowl with a smile and dug the spoon in, savouring the first mouthful. How had she known? Strawberry ice cream had been one of his favourite foods since he was a little kid, and looking at the expression on her face as she took her first mouthful, she liked it a lot too.

"This is good." She said, as if in answer to his thoughts. He nodded. She had a tiny bit of ice cream on the side of her mouth. He bent over slowly and kissed her right on it, and though he had never thought anything could beat strawberry ice cream, mixed with Kate it was even more beautiful.

She put her bowl into her lap and brought her arms around his neck. He kissed her until he had to pull away for a breath. She smiled at him, almost shyly. "Do you think we should start on the champagne?"

He nodded. "Most definitely."

She got up and walked into the kitchen, and returned a few minutes later carrying the bottle and two glasses balanced in one hand. Without spilling a drop, she poured out the glasses and handed one to him.

"Looks like I found your secret talent." He said with his eyes raised.

"My Mom worked in a diner." She said, and the closed look on her face told him she didn't want to further the conversation. So he kissed her and she sat down.

"To finding a way out." He said, and raised his glass. She grinned. "To finding a way out." She hardly heard the dull clunk as the plastic glasses made contact, and she barely tasted the champagne running down her throat as she downed it. She was mesmerised by Jack's eyes.

YAY, MORE YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY JATE!!!!!!!!!!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**TEARS**

"What?" he asked, smiling, and she was smiling back. She bent her head and kissed him softly, setting the champagne glass down as she did so and falling forward into his arms. He enclosed her in them and she forgot everything.

This time, she was crying. She couldn't help the tears falling silently down her cheeks, but she turned away so he couldn't see them. Slowly her eyes dried and she got up. She pulled her shirt back on over her head as he zipped up his pants. Then she looked at him, but focusing her eyes on a crease in his forehead, refusing to look into those eyes.

It was like a spell had been broken. All of a sudden they were back to business, back to normal, like nothing had changed. Maybe nothing had changed, Kate thought, her heart sinking. Maybe it was just a fling, a one night stand, the sort she would have relished with someone like Jack before she came to the island. But that was fugitive, fiercely non committal Kate. This was Kate who fell in love.

"Shall we get going?" she asked quietly. He nodded, smiling. She still wouldn't look into his eyes. She knew if she did she would lose it completely. So she let him lead and followed him down one of the station's dark corridors.

They walked through the tunnel for about an hour before they saw light ahead of them. Early morning light in the jungle above them. Jack lifted the flashlight he had taken from the station and shone it up. There was a rope ladder leading to a small pothole where they could climb out. Kate went cold. How the hell was she going to climb that thing with one arm bandaged and tied loosely now in a makeshift sling? How the hell was she going to get up without falling down.

"Do you think you can make it?" he asked, "Or do you need my help?"

No, she thought. I never need anyone's help. And so she said nothing, but took the ladder in her hands and began to climb.


	11. Chapter 11

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**Ok, I know this has been ages in coming and I am really sorry. I am looking to wrap up this story now in about five chapters.**

**BACK TO CAMP**

Pulling herself up with her one good arm, Kate staggered back onto the forest floor, and ended up laying sprawled out on the ground, her face in leaf mould, her eyes smarting with the pain. But she stood up quickly and brushed herself off, so Jack noticed nothing different when he climbed out. Then he looked at her strangely for a minute, before setting off in the direction of the camp.

After 15 or so minutes, Kate couldn't take it any longer.

"Jack, when we get back to camp…" she started, but he cut in before she could finish.

"Don't worry, Kate. We can pretend nothing ever happened. You can go back to Sawyer and it will be like last night didn't even exist, OK?"

Her heart sunk, but she wasn't going to show her disappointment. If he didn't want this, then there was no way he was ever going to find out that it was this she wanted more than anything else in the world. So she nodded.

"Right. And you can go back to Juliet."

He turned to look at her with a strange sadness in his eyes. "Right." He agreed.

They walked for about half an hour, and then they realised they recognised where they were. The clearing where Ana Lucia had shot Shannon. Wordlessly the two of them inclined their heads slightly, old habit, honouring their dead. It took about another ten minutes to reach camp. Claire came running up to them, and flung her arms around Kate.

"We thought you'd been taken, both of you!" she said, and passed Kate a squealing Aaron. Kate buried her face in the baby's head to hide the few tears that had leaked from her eyes at the sight of Jack walking fast over to the tent he shared with Juliet. A couple of people poked their heads out of their tents and smiled, but no one seemed particularly worried.

"No one else seems to have thought that, Claire." Kate said, smiling. Her friend looked down at her feet.

"No. They said that if you and Jack wanted to disappear off into the jungle together at night, then that was your business, not ours. I said-" She trailed off, noticing Kate's flush.

"Oh my God. You didn't."

She nodded miserably. "But it's over now." And she recounted to Claire the whole story of what had happened to her and Jack in the jungle.

"Well, what are you going to do about it?" Claire asked.

"Nothing, I suppose. Go back to Sawyer. Pretend it didn't happen. Just like he said."

"But you're not happy about it, are you?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean… I don't know. I don't have the first clue."

"You do care, Kate. I can tell. I always thought – never mind. My point is, I think Jack wants it too. He was just saying that because he thought you were-"

Kate shook her head. "I don't want to talk about this now, Claire." And she walked away. The pretty blonde Australian sighed and followed her friend with her eyes until she reached Sawyer's tent.

Sawyer didn't even look up from the book he was reading as she walked in.

"Hey, Freckles."

She sighed. Hadn't he been the slightest bit worried? Hadn't he given the slightest thought to the fact that she had disappeared into the jungle for almost 24 hours? Hadn't what could have happened to her even crossed his mind?

"Hi." She said, and sunk down onto the sand next to him, suddenly exhausted with pain and loss and love.

Finally, after finishing his chapter, he looked up.

"What happened to your arm?"

"I fell." She lied. If she told Sawyer Jack did it, she would have two options. To leave it there, and to have Sawyer go and punch Jack, or to explain what happened afterwards and that it was fine – and to have Sawyer go and punch Jack. Sawyer said nothing, just turned his head back to his book. All the anger that she had building up inside overflowed.

"Do you not give a damn where I was, Sawyer? Do you not give a shit that I was out all night, and anything could have happened to me?"

He looked at her, taken aback. "Nothing was gonna happen to you, Freckles. We scared the Others back to Timbuktu and you were with the Doc."

_Yeah, I was._

"Anything could have happened, Sawyer, and you don't even ask me where I've been!" She felt the tears rising again, "I thought you at least cared!"

He rolled his eyes. "What's got into you?"

"What's got into me? What's got into me? You're supposed to love me, but you don't give a crap about me!"

His eyes suddenly blazed. "Yeah, but you don't love me, do you?"

Shocked at that sudden outburst, she said nothing.

"Do you?" he repeated, and the anger in his eyes shocked her.

"Sawyer, I-"

"If you love me, say it!" he hissed, catching her wrist and looking deep into her eyes, fishing for the truth.

"I…I can't." she whispered, and then collapsed onto his shoulder, sobbing harder than she ever had before. He stroked her hair and held her tightly to him, making her feel a tiny bit wanted again.

"I'm…sorry. I want to, so much… I just can't…" she cried, and he just held her, strong and silent, letting only the slight flutter of his own heart betray his sadness.

**Sorry this update was so long in coming, but I lost my LOST muse for a while. Thankfully, he is back now and this story is back on the go. **


	12. Chapter 12

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**Here's the next chapter. I'm looking to wrap this up in a few chapters, so I can work on some of my other big stories, including Picking Up The Pieces (Greys – Maddison) and maybe get back to Forever (LOST – Jate).**

**On The Horizon**

The weeks had passed slowly and almost painfully. She stayed in Sawyer's tent, having nowhere else to go. She spent her time alone mostly, collecting fruit and even a couple of times attempting to hunt, generally unsuccessfully. Claire was constantly asking her if she was ok, whether or not she wanted to eat with them, or go on a walk with them, or stay in their tent for a while, but she slways declined. She felt better if she wasn't a burden on anyone else. Independence gave her some feeling of freedom.

Now, she was glad that everything had changed. She rummaged around the tent, shoving things into her backpack. Food, clothes, water, more food… She had no time and she had to hurry. Desperately she needed to hurry.

Since Sayid had run through the camp, shouting, "I got a signal on the transmitter! There is a boat out there! They can't come in the dark tonight but they'll be here with dawn tomorrow!" Everyone's faces had lit up; everyone had laughed and smiled as she grinned falsely with them. And in the thick of all the celebrating, amid hugging everyone, Jack had smiled at her and said, "We're going to be rescued, Kate! Rescued!"

And then he had hugged her.

And she knew what she had to do.

Both of them held on a little too long, both of them were too slow pulling away. Both of them leant into the other and inhaled the fresh scent of their hair. Both of them loved it far too much for comfort.

But she knew what she had to do.

So she had pulled away, and she had let go. And she had smiled that tiny smile that was so forced and whispered a lie, "I'll see you later." Her lingering glance had been too complacent, she realised that now. Her last look was far too quick and carefree. Then she had walked across the beach and into her tent.

So now she crammed everything into the bag. She had even taken some medicine and shoved it in. She felt a little guilty, but after all, tomorrow they would have proper medication and within the week they would be home. She would need it more than they would. But now she was ready.

She knew what she had to do. It hurt her so much; it tore out her heart, threw it to the ground and stamped on it.

But she knew.

She stared down at the pile of things she had left, one last time, and then she turned. Claire stood in the doorway.

"Where are you going, Kate?"

Her heart sunk. She couldn't lie her way out of this. So she told the truth.

"I'm running away. I can't go to jail. I won't go to jail. I can stay here."

Claire smiled bitterly at her, "OK, but you can't just go unannounced like this. Think of all the people it will hurt! Think of our feelings."

"I'm sorry; Claire, but I can't do anything else. I leave now and it doesn't hurt as much. If I try to say goodbye, I don't trust myself not to stay…" she choked on the words she couldn't say.

Claire's face was angry, "Why must you always run from the good things in your life? Why must you run from friends, and distance yourself from acceptance, when you could embrace it?"

There was a pause, Claire not saying the ultimate.

"Why do you run from Jack when you could love him?"

That hit a nerve.

"Claire! You don't know that! You don't know anything about me! Leave me alone! Let me go!"

Claire took her friend's hands. Kate struggled for a second then stood still.

"Kate, just answer me. Why do you run from everything that makes you whole and happy?"

Kate looked at the floor, and for a moment said nothing. Then she replied.

"It's become a habit. It's part of me now, part of who I am. And when I am happy, when I am fulfilled, I forget who I really am. I can't let that happen, Claire. I'm sorry, but you have to let me go."

Her friend hugged her tight and then left the tent without another word. Kate sighed. That had just made it harder. But it had become a habit and she needed to satisfy her hunger to escape.

**A Letter**

He wondered where she was. She had smiled like she never had before when he had hugged her. But now she hadn't appeared all evening, he was beginning to wonder if he had done something wrong. He walked over and pushed open the entrance to her tent.

It was a mess, everything scattered on the floor. Things were missing. But one thing caught his eye in the middle of the floor. An envelope. It said, in a vague, cursive hand, Jack.

He slowly opened the envelope and began to read.

Jack,

I am writing this to you knowing this is the last you will ever hear from me, the last time we will ever communicate. That hurts me more than anything else, but I shan't dwell on it. I know what I must do. I must leave before the boat gets here, and I must not be found and taken to jail. After this, I can't cope with that. There is so much I want to say, and so little time to write it in. I am sorry about taking the medicine, Jack, but I want to live my full life, even if I do live it as a coward. I need you to know, Jack, my darling Jack; that you have made these last months bearable. And there was never anything real between Sawyer and me. I made a huge mistake. And I am so sorry. If I said sorry for a thousand years it would not be enough. I love you. I love you. I love you. I've always known it I wish I'd told you that before, but I don't know your feelings. I would feel worse now if I knew you didn't love me. I live with a foolish hope.

For ever and for always,

Your Kate

There was a scrawl at the bottom, smudged by a tear.

P.S I will always love you…

He folded the letter in his hands and stood up. Then he walked straight out of the tent. He head was spinning, he couldn't think. The words were beyond his lips before he could think. "I love you too."

But it was too late.

She was far enough into the jungle now to stop and rest. She sat down. She had been running for an hour, and it was pitch black now. Her heart thudded in her chest as she collapsed onto a log. She felt fine, she told herself, and she only needed a little time to think…

About that letter. That painfully revealing letter she had written because she needed to leave something behind. The piece of her heart that didn't belong to her anymore. It belonged to Jack.

Her head was pounding, it was hurting, her mouth was dry…just a little time to think, that's all…just a little thinking time…

Jack ran in and out of the trees, along the fairly obvious trail she had left. He needed to stop and think, he knew he did. So, slowly, he stopped and lent against a tree. Just a little thinking time…

What we he do when he caught up with her? What it he couldn't persuade her to come with him? What if he didn't catch up with her? When did he turn back and get rescued? Did he forfeit his rescue? What did he say to her? Did he tell her they both felt the same way, did they pretend the note had never been written, never been read?

Just a little thinking time…

It was over now, he had to keep tracking, he couldn't give up…

Her head felt like lead, and there was a searing pain in her chest. She only needed thinking time. That was all…just thinking time… She doubled over in pain… What had happened? She had only stopped to think? Just a little thinking time to clear her mind… the pain behind her eyes wasn't part of it…

The world was turning, spinning around her… How long had she been sat there? She felt herself falling… she had only wanted a little thinking time…

The blackness was closing in… she didn't want to die alone…

He stumbled upon the clearing as the rain started. There was a hazy shape in the darkness there…laid on the floor…he rushed forward.

Kate lay on the floor, her eyes closed, her clothes drenched. Her backpack lay discarded by her side. Her breathing was shallow, not strong. Her heart beat was faint.

He lifted her onto his lap and checked her passage ways, cleared her airways. Then he spotted the medicine sticking out of the bag.

K237 amoxicillin. It was a shock drug, used in shock states and to revive unconscious patients. But an overdose was fatal, and many people had an intolerance to the drug.

It was his only hope. Her body systems were shutting down, and fast. He held her in his arms and bent down and kissed her cold, wet mouth.

"I love you too. And I am so so sorry." He murmured and then he injected the drug into her arm. Almost instantaneously she fell limp in his arms. He took her pulse. It was steady. Relief washed over him like a tidal wave. And he held her to him and rocked her, not ever wanting to let her go.


	13. Chapter 13

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**A Letter**

He wondered where she was. She had smiled like she never had before when he had hugged her. But now she hadn't appeared all evening, he was beginning to wonder if he had done something wrong. He walked over and pushed open the entrance to her tent.

It was a mess, everything scattered on the floor. Things were missing. But one thing caught his eye in the middle of the floor. An envelope. It said, in a vague, cursive hand, Jack.

He slowly opened the envelope and began to read.

Jack,

I am writing this to you knowing this is the last you will ever hear from me, the last time we will ever communicate. That hurts me more than anything else, but I shan't dwell on it. I know what I must do. I must leave before the boat gets here, and I must not be found and taken to jail. After this, I can't cope with that. There is so much I want to say, and so little time to write it in. I am sorry about taking the medicine, Jack, but I want to live my full life, even if I do live it as a coward. I need you to know, Jack, my darling Jack; that you have made these last months bearable. And there was never anything real between Sawyer and me. I made a huge mistake. And I am so sorry. If I said sorry for a thousand years it would not be enough. I love you. I love you. I love you. I've always known it I wish I'd told you that before, but I don't know your feelings. I would feel worse now if I knew you didn't love me. I live with a foolish hope.

For ever and for always,

Your Kate

There was a scrawl at the bottom, smudged by a tear.

P.S I will always love you…

He folded the letter in his hands and stood up. Then he walked straight out of the tent. He head was spinning, he couldn't think. The words were beyond his lips before he could think. "I love you too."

But it was too late.

She was far enough into the jungle now to stop and rest. She sat down. She had been running for an hour, and it was pitch black now. Her heart thudded in her chest as she collapsed onto a log. She felt fine, she told herself, and she only needed a little time to think…

About that letter. That painfully revealing letter she had written because she needed to leave something behind. The piece of her heart that didn't belong to her anymore. It belonged to Jack.

Her head was pounding, it was hurting, her mouth was dry…just a little time to think, that's all…just a little thinking time…

Jack ran in and out of the trees, along the fairly obvious trail she had left. He needed to stop and think, he knew he did. So, slowly, he stopped and lent against a tree. Just a little thinking time…

What we he do when he caught up with her? What it he couldn't persuade her to come with him? What if he didn't catch up with her? When did he turn back and get rescued? Did he forfeit his rescue? What did he say to her? Did he tell her they both felt the same way, did they pretend the note had never been written, never been read?

Just a little thinking time…

It was over now, he had to keep tracking, he couldn't give up…

Her head felt like lead, and there was a searing pain in her chest. She only needed thinking time. That was all…just thinking time… She doubled over in pain… What had happened? She had only stopped to think? Just a little thinking time to clear her mind… the pain behind her eyes wasn't part of it…

The world was turning, spinning around her… How long had she been sat there? She felt herself falling… she had only wanted a little thinking time…

The blackness was closing in… she didn't want to die alone…

He stumbled upon the clearing as the rain started. There was a hazy shape in the darkness there…laid on the floor…he rushed forward.

Kate lay on the floor, her eyes closed, her clothes drenched. Her backpack lay discarded by her side. Her breathing was shallow, not strong. Her heart beat was faint.

He lifted her onto his lap and checked her passage ways, cleared her airways. Then he spotted the medicine sticking out of the bag.

K237 amoxicillin. It was a shock drug, used in shock states and to revive unconscious patients. But an overdose was fatal, and many people had an intolerance to the drug.

It was his only hope. Her body systems were shutting down, and fast. He held her in his arms and bent down and kissed her cold, wet mouth.

"I love you too. And I am so so sorry." He murmured and then he injected the drug into her arm. Almost instantaneously she fell limp in his arms. He took her pulse. It was steady. Relief washed over him like a tidal wave. And he held her to him and rocked her, not ever wanting to let her go.


	14. Chapter 14

**DOUBLE VISION**

SHORT FANFIC SET AFTER LEFT BEHIND. WHAT I WISH WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TO CAMP. KATE AND JACK HAVE AN ARGUMENT, AND WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE BETWEEN THEM, THE STORM ARRIVES. JATE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I COULD GET VERY TIRED OF WRITING THIS. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. OF COURSE I OWN SOMETHING, JUST NOTHING RELEVANT. ONCE MORE, FOR LUCK. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

WHY, I SOUND LIKE A TRAMP!

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS UP TO LEFT BEHIND.

**Recovery**

The pain was what she became aware of first. Then the rain, then the soft blankets she was laid on and the warmth of a fire nearby. This wasn't right! She had to run! She moved.

"Oh no you don't." Jack's face appeared above her. "You're not going anywhere just yet."

She felt the tears leak from under her eyelids. Now she would have to make the painful goodbye.

"Go, Jack. Go home where you belong." She croaked, "Go on the boat…but leave me here. There is no life for me there. Please. For me!"

He shook his head. "The boat leaves in one hour. I'm not going. You are in no fit state to travel anyway."

She shook her head.

"Jack, don't make me keep you here! You go home!" He smiled at her.

"You don't understand, Kate. I don't want to be anywhere but here."

"I didn't ask for this!" She cried, "I didn't ask you to come after me, I didn't ask you to save me!"

He smiled at the memory.

"Yes you did." Jack smiled at her. "As I came into the clearing, I heard you call my name."

"I…I…"

"You shouted Jack as you fell. You nearly died, Kate. I…"

She smiled, "You saved me…" she whispered and suddenly became painfully aware that he was very close to her. He was smiling.

"Thank you." She whispered, and he smiled more broadly. "For finding me when no one else could…"

And then she lent up and kissed him, quickly, softly and gently.

He didn't want her to pull away, but she did…

"What was that for?" he asked, smiling.

"That belonged to me, Jack. After everything, that belongs to me."

He was speechless for a second, and then she pushed him up feebly.

"Now go, Jack! Get on that boat and go and forget all about me!"

He laughed at her, his eyes wet.

"You don't get it, do you?" he said, "I don't want to go! I never want to leave you! I love you, goddammit, I love you!"

She choked back tears, then gave up and let them fall. Then she quietly leant up and kissed him slower and softer than he had ever been kissed before, and her lips lingered on his longer than she ever had before, and her eyes closed sooner than they ever had before.

He was drowning. That was the only word for it. Drowning in her, belonging. For the first time in his life, he knew he was exactly where the fates wanted him to be. She belonged in his arms and he belonged with her, and that was how it should always be.

She kissed him deeper until she knew her heart couldn't pump any faster and her head couldn't pound any harder and then she drew back and looked into his eyes, so brimming with love and devotion it almost hurt to look into them.

She looked scared, and that carved his heart out.

"Jack lets stop pretending now. Go home, and take that memory with you."

He smiled and spoke through a thick, emotion filled voice.

"I lied to you, Kate. You were in a coma. The boat left two hours ago. I made my choice. I will stay with you forever."

Her heart sunk. How could he? Then the truth sunk in and she flung her arms around his neck and held herself to him. "Oh, I love you." She muttered, making him laugh. She'd always loved making him smile, or better, laugh. She kissed his neck, his cheek and then his mouth softly. She pulled away as he spoke.

"I read your letter." He whispered, and for a moment her happiness dipped. But then his kisses stripped her of her cares again, and she pulled him down next to her in the sand, kissing him and holding him like there was no tomorrow.

In fact, there wasn't just tomorrow.

They had forever.

He lost himself in her, breathing in her scent. The moment he had decided to stay on the island with her had been both the hardest and the easiest decision of his life. It had been a choice between the one person and a world of people, one rough, difficult life and one beautiful, fulfilling life. Nothing or everything. All or nothing at all.

Of course he had chosen all. But all had changed since the last time he looked. Now all meant the woman he loved and a hard life. A hard life made his love for Kate all the more rewarding.

His whispers and her heavy breathing didn't stop her thoughts from racing. It had been a choice between Jack and freedom, and she'd thought she'd known best. But she'd been wrong. It would have been better to choose Jack after all.

But it didn't matter.

With his arms around her, it wasn't a matter of all or nothing; it was a matter of love, and the two of them, and all the time in the world.

**JATE IS FATE!!!!! There we go, all finished. Thanks for sticking with me through this. I hope you liked the story, and it's ending. Reviews are welcome.**

**Love you all**

**GREYSLOSTWHO!!!!!!!!!!**


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